Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Trusts

A trust is known by the companies it keeps. - Ellis O. Jones. TOMPKINS--"Ventley has received a million dollars for his patent egg dating machine. You know it is absolutely interference-proof, and dates correctly and indelibly as the egg is being laid."

DEWLEY-"Is the machine on the market yet?"

TOMPKINS "Oh, my no! and it won't be on the market. The patent was bought by the Cold Storage Trust."

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