Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Tardiness

"You'll be late for supper sonny," said the merchant, in passing a small boy who was carrying a package. "No, I won't," was the reply. "I've dot de meat." -Mabel Lang. "How does it happen that you are five minutes late at school this morning?" the teacher asked severely. "Please, ma'am," said Ethel, "I must have overwashed myself."

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