Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Neatness

The neatness of the New England housekeeper is a matter of common remark, and husbands in that part of the country are supposed to appreciate their advantages. A bit of dialogue reported as follows shows that there may be another side to the matter. "Martha, have you wiped the sink dry yet?" asked the farmer, as he made final preparations for the night. "Yes, Josiah," she replied. "Why do you ask?" "Well, I did want a drink, but I guess I can get along until morning."

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