Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Artists

ARTIST "I'd like to devote my last picture to a charitable purpose."

CRITIC-"Why not give it to an institution for the blind?" "Wealth has its penalties," said the ready-made philosopher. "Yes," replied Mr. Cumrox. "I'd rather be back at the dear old factory than learning to pronounce the names of the old masters in my picture-gallery."

CRITIC "By George, old chap, when I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder-" ARTIST "How I do it?"

CRITIC-"NO; why you do it."

He that seeks popularity in art closes the door on his own genius: as he must needs paint for other minds, and not for his own.-Mrs. Jameson.

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