Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Funerals

There was an old man in a hearse, Who murmured, "This might have been worse; Of course the expense Is simply immense, But it doesn't come out of my purse."

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