Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

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Protestant Episcopal Church

One of our popular New England lecturers tells this amusing story. A street boy of diminutive stature was trying to sell some very young kittens to passers-by. One day he accosted the late Reverend Phillips Brooks, asking him to purchase, and recommending them as good Episcopal kittens. Dr. Brooks laughingly refused, thinking them too small to be taken from their mother. A few days later a Presbyterian minister who had witnessed this episode was asked by the same boy to buy the same kittens. This time the lad anounced that they were faithful Presbyterians. "Didn't you tell Dr. Brooks last week that they were Episcopal kittens?" the minister asked sternly. "Yessir," replied the boy quickly, "but they's had their eyes opened since then, sir."

An Episcopal clergyman who was passing his vacation in a remote country district met an old farmer who declared that he was a "Piscopal." "To what parish do you belong?" asked the clergyman. "Don't know nawthin' 'bout enny parish," was the answer. "Who confirmed you, then?" was the next question. "Nobody," answered the farmer. "Then how are you an Episcopalian?" asked the clergyman. "Well," was the reply, "you see it's this way: Last winter I went down to Philadelphy a-visitin', an' while I was there I went to church, an' it was called 'Piscopal, an' I heerd them say that they left undone the things what they'd oughter done and they'd done some things what they oughtenter done, and I says to myself says I: 'That's my fix exac'ly,' and ever sence then I've been a 'Piscopalian."

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