Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Meekness

The friends of a couple in Cleveland, in whose household no doubt exists as to who is the head of the family, tell an interesting story relative to the last trifling passage at arms between huband and wife.

One evening just before dinner the wife, who had been playing bridge all the afternoon, came in to find her husband and a strange man (afterward ascertained to be a lawyer) engaged in some mysterious business over the library table, upon which were spread several sheets of paper. "What are you doing with all that paper, Henry?" demanded the wife. "I am making a wish," meekly responded the husband. "A wish?" "Yes, my dear. In your presence I shall not presume to call it a will."

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