Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

The Handbook

2 topics in this part of Toaster's Handbook.

Preface

Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast on some appallingly near-by occasion. All ideas he…

On the Possession of a Sense Of Humor

"Man," says Hazlitt, is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what…

Rights & ReuseThe complete text of Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories, and Quotations (1914) is in the public domain in the United States — like all works published before 1928 — and is free to read, download, quote, teach from, and reuse. This digital edition (its transcription, restored images, and site design) is © 2026 PhotoOpAI, and any editorial commentary we add is clearly marked as ours; the underlying public-domain text carries no such restriction.