Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Guarantees

TRAVELER (on an English train) - "Shall I have time to get a drink?"

GUARD-"Yes, sir."

TRAVELER-"Can you give me a guarantee that the train won't start?"

GUARD-"Yes, I'll take one with you!"

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