Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Friends

May we treat our friends with kindness and our enemies with generosity.

The Lord gives our relatives, Thank God we can choose our friends. "Father." "Well, what is it?" "It says here, 'A man is known by the company he keeps.' Is that so, Father?" "Yes, yes, yes." "Well, Father, if a good man keeps company with a bad man, is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man, and is the bad man good because he keeps company with the good man?"-Punch.

Here's champagne to our real friends.

And real pain to our sham friends.

It's better to make friends fast Than to make fast friends.

Some friends are a habit-some a luxury.

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