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Foresight

"They tell me you're working 'ard night an' day, Sarah?" her bosom friend Ann said. "Yes," returned Sarah. "I'm under bonds to keep the peace for pullin' the whiskers out of that old scoundrel of a husban' of mine, and the Magistrate said that if I come afore 'im ag'in, or laid me 'ands on the old man, he'd fine me forty shillin's!" "And so you're working 'ard to keep out of mischief?" "Not much; I'm workin' 'ard to save up the fine!" "Mike, I wish I knew where I was goin' to die. I'd give a thousand dollars to know the place where I'm goin' to die." "Well, Pat, what good would it do if yez knew?" "Lots," said Pat. "Shure I'd never go near thot place." At a little town in southern Texas a campaign address delivered by William J. Bryan was received with the wildest enthusiasm. At its close an excited young woman rushed up and asked permission to kiss the orator. The embarrassed politician declined the salute politely but firmly. When they had left the town one of the gentlemen who accompanied Mr. Bryan took him to task for his lack of gallantry and expressed his fears that, the Texans might resent Mr. Bryan's action. "Well," replied Mr. Bryan with a glance at his wife, who was in the party, "I shall be in Texas only a few days, but I shall be with Mrs. Bryan all my life."

There once was a pious young priest, Who lived almost wholly on yeast; "For," he said, "it is plain We must all rise again, And I want to get started, at least."