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Flats

"Hello, Tom, old man, got your new flat fitted up yet?" "Not quite," answered the friend. "Say, do you know where I can buy a folding toothbrush?"

She hadn't told her mother yet of their first quarrel, but she took refuge in a flood of tears. "Before we were married you said you'd lay down your life for me," she sobbed. "I know it," he returned solemnly; "but this confounded flat is so tiny that there's no place to lay anything down."