Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Determination

After the death of Andrew Jackson the following conversation is said to have occurred between an Anti-Jackson broker and a Democratic merchant:

MERCHANT (with a sigh)-"Well, the old General is dead." BROKER (with a shrug)-"Yes, he's gone at last."

MERCHANT (not appreciating the shrug)-"Well, sir, he was a good man."

BROKER (with shrug more pronounced) - "I don't know about that."

MERCHANT (energetically) - "He was a good man, sir. If any man has gone to heaven, General Jackson has gone to heaven."

BROKER (doggedly) -"I don't know about that."

MERCHANT "Well, sir, I tell you that if Andrew Jackson had made up his mind to go to heaven, you may depend upon it he's there."

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