Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Caution

Marshall Field, 3rd, according to a story that was going the rounds several years ago, bids fair to become a very cautious business man when he grows up. Approaching an old lady in a Lakewood hotel, he said: "Can you crack nuts?" "No, dear," the old lady replied. "I lost all my teeth ages ago." "Then," requested Master Field, extending two hands full of pecans, "please hold these while I go and get some more."

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