Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Cats

There was a young lady whose dream Was to feed a black cat on whipt cream, But the cat with a bound Spilt the milk on the ground, So she fed a whipt cat on black cream.

There once were two cats in Kilkenny, And each cat thought that there was one cat too many, And they scratched and they fit and they tore and they bit, 'Til instead of two cats-there weren't any.

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