Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories and Quotations

“Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to respond to a toast.” Five hundred pages of jokes, stories and quotations filed A to Z, so the terrified speaker can find one fast.

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Arbitration, International

A war was going on, and one day, the papers being full of the grim details of a bloody battle, a woman said to her husband: "This slaughter is shocking. It's fiendish. Can nothing be done to stop it?" "I'm afraid not," her husband answered. "Why don't both sides come together and arbitrate?" she cried. "They did," said he. "They did, 'way back in June. That's how the gol-durned thing started."

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