Authors
Why is an author the most wonderful man in the world? Ans.-Because he is the owner of many tales, and they all come out of his head. What would you expect to find on a literary man's breakfast table? Ans.-Bacon's Remains, Final Memorials of Lamb, if in season, and Shelley fragments.
Why was "Uncle Tom's Cabin" not written by a woman's hand? Ans.- Because it was written by Mrs. Beecher Stowe, (Beecher's toe.) Why do we speak of poetic fire? Ans. -Because if the ancient Scandinavians had their "Scalds," we have also had our "Burns." What best describes and most impedes a Christian Pilgrim's Progress? Ans. A Bunyan, (bunion.) What is the most melancholy fact in the history of Milton? Ans. That he could "recite" his poems, but not resight himself. If a tough beefsteak could talk, what English poet would it mention? Ans. Chaucer, (chaw sir.) Why was Bulwer more likely to get tired of novel-writing than Warren? Ans.-Because Bulwer wrote "Night and Morning." Warren only wrote "Now and Then."
When is a slug like a poem of Tennyson's? Ans. - When it's in a garden ("Enoch Arden.") If Rider Haggard had been Lew Wallace, who would "She" have been ? Ans. "Ben-Hur."
When was Shakespeare a broker? Ans. When he furnished stock quotations.
Why ought Shakespeare's dramatic works be considered unpopular? Ans.-Because they contain Much Ado About Nothing.
Why was Dickens a greater man than Shakespeare? Ans.-Because Shakespeare wrote well, but Dickens wrote Weller.
What question of three words may be asked Tennyson concerning a brother poet? Ans. - Watt's Tupper's Wordsworth, (What's Tupper's words worth?) What author would eyeglasses and spectacles mention to the world it they could only speak? Ans. -You see by us, (Eusebius.) Why are cheese-mites like a book of Bulwers? Ans. -Because they are the Pilgrims of the Rhine.