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William Somerville: Thomas

Nay more; don't suppose With such doings as those This account of her merits must come to a close; No!-examine her conduct more closely, you'll find She by no means neglected improving her mind; For there all the while, with an air quite bewitching, And Sir Thomas, her lord, was stout of limb, And his cough was short, and his eyes were dim, And he wore green "specs " with a tortoise shell rim, She sat herring-boning, tambouring, or stitching, And his hat was remarkably broad in the brim, And she was uncommonly fond of him- And they were a loving pair!

And wherever they went, or wherever they came, Every one hailed them with loudest acclaim; Far and wide, The people cried, All sorts of pleasure, and no sort of pain, To Sir Thomas the good, and the fair Lady Jane !

Now Sir Thomas the good, be it well understood, Was a man of very contemplative mood-- He would pore by the hour, o'er a weed or a flower, Or the slugs, that came crawling out after a shower; Black beetles, bumble-bees, blue-bottle flies, And moths, were of no small account in his eyes; An "industrious flea," he'd by no means despise, While an "old daddy long-legs," whose long legs and thighs Passed the common in shape, or in color, or size, He was wont to consider an absolute prize.

Giving up, in short, both business and sport, he Abandoned himself, tout entier, to philosophy.

Now as Lady Jane was tall and slim, And Lady Jane was fair, And a good many years the junior of him, There are some might be found entertaining a notion, That such an entire and exclusive devotion, To that part of science, folks style entomology, Was a positive shame, And, to such a fair dame, Really demanded some sort of apology; Ever poking his nose into this, and to that- At a gnat, or a bat, or a cat, or a rat, At great ugly things, all legs and wings, With nasty long tails, armed with nasty long stings; - And eternally thinking, and blinking, and winking, At grubs-when he ought of her to be thinking.

Or having an eye to affairs of the kitchen.