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Charles Dickens (II)

Shacob's Lament.

XCOOSE me if I shed some tears, Und wipe my nose avay; Und if a lump vos in my troat, It comes up dere to shtay.

My sadness I shall now unfoldt, Und if dot tale of woe Don'd do some Dutchmans any good, Den I don't pelief I know.

You see, I fall myself in love, Und effery night I goes Across to Brooklyn by dot pridge, All dressed in Sunday clothes.

A vidder vomans vos der brize, Her husband he vos dead; Und all alone in this colt vorldt Dot vidder vos, she said.

Her heart for love vos on der pine, Und dot I like to see; Und all der time I hoped dot heart Vos on der pine for me.

I keeps a butcher shop, you know, Und in a stocking stout, I put avay my gold und bills, Und no one gets him oudt.

T If in der night some bank cashier Goes skipping off mit cash, I shleep so sound as never vos, Vhile rich folks go to shmash.

I court dot vidder sixteen months, Dot vidder she courts me, Und vhen I say: "Vhill you be mine?"

She says: "You bet I'll be !"

Ve vos engaged-oh! blessed fact !

I squeeze dot dimpled hand; Her head upon my shoulder lays, Shust like a bag of sand. "Before der vedding day vos set," She vispers in mine ear, "I like to say I haf to use Some cash, my Shacob, dear. "I owns dis house and two big farms, Und ponds und railroad stock; Und up in Yonkers I bossess A grand big peesness block. "Der times vos dull, my butcher boy, Der market vos no good, Und if I sell"-I squeezed her handt To show I understood.

Next day-oxcoose my briny tears- Dot shtocking took a shrink ; I counted out twelve hundred in Der cleanest kind o' chink.

Und later, by two days or more, Dot vidder shlopes avay; Und leaves a note behindt for me In vhich dot vidder say: "DEAR SHAKE:

Der rose vos redt, Der violet blue- You see I've left, Und you're left, too!"

A Receipt for Courtship.

WO or three dears, and two or three sweets; Two or three balls, and two or three treats; Two or three serenades, given as a lure; Two or three oaths how much they endure; Two or three messages sent in one day; Two or three times led out from the play; Two or three soft speeches made by the way; Two or three tickets for two or three times; Two or three love-letters writ all in rhymes; Two or three months keeping strict to these rules Can never fail making a couple of fools.