Our Moral and Physical Antipodes

The Chinese, topographically our antipodes, are as opposite to us in manners and customs.

We stand feet to feet in almost every thing. Our night is their day. Our mourning color is black, theirs is white. Their boats are drawn by men: their carriages are moved by means of sails.

Old men fly kites, while little boys look on: with them the seat of honor is at the left hand, and to keep one's hat on is a sign of respect. We drink tea hot, and wine cold: they drink wine hot, and tea cold. In China, the family name comes first instead of last; thus, John Smith would be Smith John: and the Chinese name of Confucius, Kung-Fu-tsee, means Holy Master Kung, Kung being his family name. The needle of their compass points to the south, ours to the north. They say "west-north" instead of north-west, "east-south" instead of south-east. Their soldiers wear quilted petticoats, satin boots, and bead necklaces, carry umbrellas and fans, and go to a night attack with lanterns, being more afraid of the dark than the enemy. They mount their horses on the right side. Visiting-cards with them are about four feet long, and are painted red. The children in school sit with their backs to the teacher, and study their lessons aloud. Babies in China seldom cry. This may be accounted for by the fact that the older children go out to play with the babies strapped to their backs. In the opinion of the Chinese, the seat of the understanding is the stomach. A married woman, when young and pretty, is a slave: when she is old and withered, she is the most respected and beloved member of the family. Their most valued piece of furniture is a handsome camphor-wood coffin, which they keep in the best room. They are very fond of fireworks, but always display them in the daytime. A Chinese soldier will run away in time of danger, and then kill himself to avoid punishment.

If you offend a Chinaman, instead of killing you, he will kill himself on your doorstep.